Self Standards and Chocolate

it's Monday // July 18th, 2016

Let’s be real for a minute, our worst critic is ourselves. In every day life and in our businesses or careers. We ask ourselves things like… Is this project good enough for my boss? What if my client hates this concept? What if people laugh at the way I talk? We do this because our self standards are set a little too high. Let’s do ourselves and our mental health a favor and lower the bar a bit.

Let’s avidly search for and find happiness in the moments that we aren’t so hard on ourselves.

The Struggle with Standards

The other day I was feeling saucy and decided to take a break from work and bake something. Actually it was more like, throw some stuff together and toss it in the freezer.

As I was doing that, the whole time I was thinking…What if these chocolates don’t stick together properly because I made up half the recipe? What if they just suck and I have to throw them out? (Later in the post you will find out the fate of my chocolates.)

I was literally giving myself a headache. For no reason.

And then it got me thinking – and my husband confirmed in a kind manner – I’m this way 90% of the time. I doubt myself and when I do, my self confidence goes out the window. It’s these crazy standards I’ve set for myself that I feel the need to live up to. You know, the whole “It has to be perfect because x, y and z”. That old chestnut.

Those crazy self standards are rooted in thinking that everyone else has those same standards set for us. It’s a self confidence issue and it’s us trying to please everyone. Thinking things like… They expect my baking to be perfect. They expect my ideas to be on point every single minute. They expect me to be the perfect conversationalist that doesn’t get flustered and stumble over words.

But in reality, others aren’t thinking that way. Well some might be. But who wants to be associated with people like that? Surround yourself with people who lift you up, not those who bring you down. So why should you be thinking that way?

It’s human nature to make mistakes. Learning how to learn from them or laugh about them is the best way to move on. It’s time we stop setting those standards so high for ourselves.

The Baker in Me, Or Not So Much

I let myself stress about silly things like baking – and it’s mainly because of my previous baking experiences. It’s rare that I’ll actually enjoy and eat more than one piece of something I’ve made. It’s always some reason or another that the dessert doesn’t live up to my standards – ah that feels so pompous to say. Anyway, my husband disagrees and ends up eating 99% of the baked goods.

After the headache I put myself through thinking about how bad those damn chocolates could be… they were literally the best dessert I’ve ever made. I’ll be honest, I ate 9 of the 12 of them. Shhh.

I don’t just think that way about baking – that’s just silly. I have those self standards when it comes to business and especially with this blog. There are many days when I question if this even matters. Am I wasting my time? What if people don’t read this? What if they hate it? 

And time and time again I’ve been proven wrong by those around me – and myself even!

So, the lesson has been learned. I’m going to stop being so hard on myself when it comes to life and business and start truly enjoying the process. I suggest you do the same 🙂

The fun and joy that tasks like baking and blogging bring gets lost when we are worrying about the outcome and what others will think. It’s time to be less hard on ourselves. The more stress and fear I’ve had during projects are the projects that come out the worst. And the projects I haven’t feared what others were going to think – are my best projects.

Let go of your strict self standards and love the process – the outcome will be amazing.

The Chocolate Recipe

Okay, I have to share this recipe with you because like I said, these chocolates are DELICIOUS. Oh, and super easy. Oh, AND healthy. 👌



  • They are similar to a dark chocolate bar, but the texture is a little more like fudge.
  • They melt quickly so keep them in the fridge!
  • They can be stored in the fridge for 2 weeks.
  • They are more rich than sweet.
  • They do not taste like coconut.
  • They are best when made with organic or all natural ingredients.

What You Need:

  • 3/4 cup melted coconut oil
  • 4 tablespoons honey
  • 4 tablespoons maple syrup
  • 1 tablespoon raw sugar (omit if you desire bitter dark chocolate)
  • 3/4 cup cocoa powder
  • 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
  • baking cups – tiny or normal
  • about 10 minutes of time

Extras to sprinkle ✨  on top, if desired:

Sea Salt (highly recommend)
Shredded Coconut
Dried Berries
Pumpkin Seeds


  1. Line muffin pan with baking cups.

    I use the tiny baking cups. They are the perfect two bite snack! And I actually didn’t have a muffin pan. I just set the cups on top of a regular pan that would fit in my freezer. They stood just fine! Just be gentle during the transport to the freezer so the floor doesn’t get to enjoy your chocolates rather than you…
  2. In a bowl mix all of the ingredients together.

    Use wisk or spoon. The batter will be a bit runny! Also, the coconut oil needs to be fully melted. Otherwise you’ll have a clumpy mess on your hands. And counter.
  3. Spoon the mixture into your baking cups.

    I used two regular spoonfuls per tiny baking cup. My batch made 15 chocolates.
  4. Sprinkle on your toppings!

    Use your fingers. Mix and match. Make patterns. Do you.
  5. Place chocolates in freezer.

    They will firm right up in about 2 hours. Make sure to keep them in the fridge once they are firm or they WILL melt. It’s too hot to be cleaning up that nonsense.
  6. Enjoy!

    I hope you’ll love them as much as I do.

Our the next couple of Monday’s I’ll be expanding on some of the things from my 30 things I’ve learned after a year of working for myself list. I know I’m not in this alone and I’d love to hear your experiences no matter the capacity you work for yourself – full time or part time. Please share in the comments below or on Instagram or Twitter!

Happy Monday friends, let’s make this week awesome!

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